Good evening,

so many questions in my head. So many comments from others about my behaviour…

Imagine this. You have a problem. You try to explain it to someone. This is their reaction: “Well, I totally get you. But, you know? Try to rise above it. Don’t take it so hard!”

Nice! Thank you! So easy! Really! I will do that from now on! Thanks again!

Since today wearing a mask in public facilities has officially been made mandatory. I have not yet been outside…

What’s it gonna be like at work?

What’s it gonna be like in shops or grocery stores?

I already printed the “Uitzondering Mondkapjes (excemption from wearing a mak)” – meaning a “stamp” from our government that shows that you are unable to wear a mask. You can show that whenever anyone asks you to put one on…

To be honest… I don’t know what to think of it. Kinda like a… ehm… two edged knife? What was the English phrase again? Anywho… on the one side I’m kinda happy about it. It shows that “we” (the “antisocial” ones that cannot wear a mask) have been taken into consideration.

If you read the media in Germany – when they write about us – they are saying: the ones that deny to put on a mask! The opposition!

Will it be different here, in the Netherlands? Will I be able to go shopping without being asked to put one on? Will I be able to go shopping without being chased and hunted down because of my inability to wear one? Will I be left alone? Is that going to happen? Or are they going to give me hell? Tell me that I don’t belong? Go home? That I’m a threat to society?

Will they ask me to wear a “sign”? So it’s easier for them to recognize me? That I am sick and therefore cannot wear a mask? A sign to show them how to cope with me? “Beware! Handle with care! She is just not one of you!”

Should we just wear a yellow star?

When I said that, a lot of people told me that I was going to far… But, dear fellow human beings. What is too far? Just to be clear: There have been other “stamps” for people like me in the whole history of human kind. Who’s people like me? “Borderline groups”, people that are different from the rest. Perfect, isnt’ it? Just a different “stamp” than that yellow star! But… if I use one of those… will that mean anything? Will anybody know what the real problem is? Probably not… oh well… do they ever?

I am asking you, honestly: Why is it OK for me to put on a black triangle instead of a yellow star? To show that I am not one of you? Does anyone here even know what that black triangle means? History?

Let’s talk about the other side of the “excemption story”: People like me. People that are unable to wear a mask. You cannot see it – you cannot see that we are different. We seem to be like you if you just see us walking down the street. Normal… when you talk to us. “One of us…”

And then it happens… we enter a public facility. Everyone puts on their personalized mask. Everyone – except “us”. There we go! Naked! Tagged! Caught in the act! We look around… breathing gets harder… sweat is starting to pour down… body begins to shake uncontrollably… every fiber of your being fighting against reality… Your only thought is: “Please, dear God, please, I beg you! Let me survive this! Let me fade into the background, let them not see me, let me disappear, let them leave me alone, let them not talk to me… let me be nothing!”

Will those feelings go away once I let them stamp me with an official sign? That I put on my clothes so they can see that I’m not normal? Am I strong and willing enough to get stamped? Or am I going to go and lock myself up at home? “Warm and safe…”

See y’all later

„Outsiders are people that the broad masses defined as people not following – on purpose or not – the social norms.” ^[1]

RAnDGruppen im Mittelalter

Having a laugh here, guys! Maybe I should try to explain myself better? I always hope that someone will understand all that gibberish I write…

Let’s start like this: marking people is wrong! Whatever way, be it a yellow star, a bell, a hat. It is wrong! However you look at it! It’s against everything democracy says and all the civil laws. It goes against all our thoughts and believes!

Don’t we keep on telling ourselves that all humans are equal, even though we are all different? What does it matter what colour of skin you have? Don’t we all have the same rights?

Imagine this: somebody had a stroke, a brain damage and cannot “function as well” in society as somebody that did not have a brain damage? He is slower, less coordinated, takes longer to talk. Or someone that has a light autism? Or was traumatized? That’s something we are not able to spot at the first glance. It’s inside.

Those people have their own burdens. They can make life more difficult for them than it is for other people that do not suffer from an “illness”. Do you want to “mark” them? Let’s say, put on a green hat for those who had a stroke? So we can recognize them and help them?

Where am I going with this, you wonder? This is it: when I’m talking about that yellow star – it’s not about the yellow star! It’s so darn sad that some people think that!

It’s about the flaws of human kind. The mere thought to put a “stamp” onto those “less fortunate” so that the rest of human kind can live on happily ever after. Stamp those who are smaller in numbers… different, different, different…

Did you know that those “marks” don’t have their origins in the second world war? No, no – they were not that smart then! It’s way worse! They started way before that! In the middle ages, “outsiders” were allready marked to the public eye: whores, for example often had to wear yellow clothes to show their proffession, musicians had to wear little tiny bells, those who had leper had to wear a big bell and ring it, Jews had to wear a yellow ring or yellow circle or some kind of hat.

It’s sad, oh so sad, that some people seem to only have a problem with the yellow star! Dear fellow human beings! The fact that people have to be “marked” at all to show that they are different than the rest – that is oh, so wrong!

But imagine this: I’ll put on the black triangle! Do you know what it was used for? That it was used for so called “antisocial” people in the concentration camps? Or I’ll just wear some little bells. I mean, I am a musician after all! It won’t have any effect! Worse yet: I guess that most people will be happy, ’cause then they know that I’m not one of them and keep a safe distance from me. I’m weird. I’m crazy! Maybe I’m even contagious?

I’m just very sad at the moment…

See y’all later.

You know? I’ll go even further: Let’s take a look at today’s society! Let’s take a look at our “outsiders” or “borderline groups”? You think we don’t have them?

What about people who don’t have a job? That have to get money from the government? How often don’t I hear that they should try harder? They’re just lazy. What about people with physical disabilities, like that stroke I mentioned earlier? What about people with ADHD or asperger? People with “lower jobs” like garbage men or seafaring folk? Gamers? Artists?

What about those with psychological problems – depression, anorexia, bullemia, borderline? People that have been raped or abused?

People that cannot wear a mask? People with asthma or allergies?

I have already been stamped… I cannot wear a mask… Singled out every time I go into a public building…

But where is our right to privacy? Why do we have to show the world that we aren’t normal? That we cannot cope with society? Just so that the larger number of people can live happily ever after?

And – what does it even mean? Normal people verses outsiders? Aren’t we all human beings?